Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

What Do We Want? And why is desire such a tricky guide?

Much of what we experience as desire is actually a yearning for connection, and the only connection that truly satisfies is spiritual connection. We desire something we already have: oneness.

As in the line from the country song goes, we’re looking for love in all the wrong places. We look outside ourselves for that which is inside. The connection we seek has always been inside, and it will always be inside.

Our passions and desires can go off the track so easily. Mine have. I’ve followed passion and desire off many cliffs – bad relationships, substance abuse, overeating. It’s not surprising that 12 step programs insist that the connection to a higher power is essential to overcoming the negative effects of desire gone haywire.

Passion is a powerful human force. Desire keeps us moving when all seems lost. Passion is the beating heart of creativity, the force that drives parents to sacrifice for their children. It is also the fuel that propels massively destructive human behavior, from a single brutality to horrifying wars across the globe. All passion.

The same passion quiets and nourishes when we realize we are not apart, we are not alone, and we are not threatened with annihilation. When that realization is true, the body is put to calm. We awake in peace, go through the day in wonder, and rest easily at night.

For the day is eternal and all our needs are met. We have no needs but connection, and we are always connected. We exist in connection because connection is all there is. There is nothing that is not connection. Our passion – once directed – brings us awake to this simple and eternal truth.


24 thoughts on “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

  1. There’s another country song with the lyrics: “how can I miss you when you won’t go away?” Sometimes, we appreciate things better when we don’t have them.
    I guess it’s part of human nature.

  2. My relationship with my Heavenly Father is the source of my spiritual strength. However, I appreciate the loving relationships I can have with family and friends, including fellow writers like you who remind us of these vital connections.

  3. “What do we want?” you ask…
    We want to connect with like minded beings who have long found where Love is.
    “And why is desire such a tricky guide?” you ask…
    Because desire is not Love. Desire is a pulsating sensation within our hearts and minds. Whereas Love is THE spiritual connection from our heart to all that is, including our true Self (the egoless side of us).

    Am I making any sense to you? Probably not. However, allow me to say that awakened minds don’t have that “problem” anymore (i.e. “looking for Love in all the wrong places).

    Very interesting post.

    Tree Spirit

  4. I think that connection is sooooooo lacking in our society. I do believe that unconditional love is the essence of the connection we desire. Look at me and love me, even if I’m not perfect.

  5. Connecting with others and myself is a happy practice for me. My intentions to be open, present, compassionate, understanding, and kind help me to connect with deliberateness. My distracted mind wonders and wanders so I return to my happy practice often enough. 🙂

  6. Pingback: Re-blog Day 4 | Jen's Jewish Journey

  7. This is well written and is cogent, highly intelligent and thought-provoking. i like it very much.
    Thank you, Rob, for following my blog, i appreciate that deeply.
    My best to you

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